Make me feel alive again
by phoenix-lm
Summary: Harry is quite content with his life at the Ministry. Sure, he did not become an Auror, but his desk job is very safe and manageable. At least, that is until Draco Malfoy suddenly shows up...
1. Chapter 1

It was a cold morning. Harry could see his breath as he rushed out of the door and he wound his scarf a little tighter around his neck. He still wore Gryffindor red and gold, even when it had been five years since he last set foot in the castle of Hogwarts. He ran down the steps leading to the underground. He liked living in central London, having access to muggle transportation easily. He preferred to not use magic if it could be avoided. It confused his friends at times. He had stopped trying to explain a long time ago.

He circled around people, trying to avoid touch as much as possible during rush hour. The train moved with the same steady rhythm of every morning. Briefcase danced in the hands of business men. Pages whispered while being turned. A boy cheered in joy, pointing his mother's eyes to the screen of his video game. A speaker announced stops in a monotone voice and people flowed on and off the train like ocean waves. Harry noticed every pair of eyes, every smile, every movement. And the best thing was, nobody noticed his. But soon enough the train made a stop at his destination and life started calling his name again. The second he stepped into the Ministry, the peaceful morning chorus turned into a Winter storm.

"Mr Potter! Hey Potter!" He turned his head to see who was trying to get his attention this time, but didn't stop walking. A witch was trailing behind him.

"I've been meaning to talk to you for a while," she said, "Could you, by any chance, stop by my office today?"

Harry didn't remember her name. She was just one of the many. They always wanted the same. "I'll see what I can do," he simply replied before the elevator doors closed. He finally let out his breath, sighing deeply, and closed his eyes for a second, enjoying the silence of being left alone. He hadn't realized there was already somebody in the elevator when he had stepped in though and startled when he heard an eerie familiar laugh.

"Having trouble with the ladies, Potter?"

Harry turned around as fast as he could, staring down the pair of challenging eyes he had looked into far too much for his liking during his time at Hogwarts.

"Doing just fine, thanks very much, Malfoy." Harry silently cursed at himself for not being able to come up with a smart retort at the spot, especially when he heard Draco snicker again. This was one thing he had not missed from his school days, he thought to himself. He hadn't seen Draco much since then and that was probably best for the both of them. He couldn't imagine how he could cope with seeing him every day again like he did back then.

Finally the elevator reached his floor. Harry got out as quickly as he could, trying to avoid looking at Draco again as he did. He walked towards his desk in big strides and only stopped to turn around once he had reached his chair and set his bag down. He jumped again when he found himself looking into those same eyes once more.

"Are you following me, Malfoy?" he asked as sternly as he could. He sounded more like a scary boy than like the guy who had saved the world from the evilest wizard. Why could he not make himself more impressive?

"You wish," Draco laughed as he sat himself down in the chair at the empty desk next to Harry's. He quietly opened his briefcase and took out a few folders. He opened them and started reading, completely ignoring Harry's dumbfounded stare.

"You work here?" Harry asked.

"I see you're still the observant one," Draco said without looking up.

Harry huffed and then turned to his desk, which looked completely different from the one next to him. There were piles and piles of folders and lose papers everywhere. Harry started to frantically search for the papers he needed, the case he had been working on that week and had thought he would finish today, just before the weekend. He realized he might not get that far now though, with a new distraction sitting right next to him. The person who had sat at that desk before wasn't nearly as distracting as Malfoy. An old man, he had retired a few weeks ago. They never spoke much. Harry didn't really speak to anyone on this floor for that matter. His coworkers knew to respect that. Mostly because they knew what happened when they didn't. There were ten of them on this floor. Harry's desk was in the far corner, the wall on the right of it, and the desk that apparently now belonged to Draco on the left. The rest of the desks were sprawled across the room, separated only by filing cabinets and the occasional towers of collected paperwork.

Harry and Draco worked silently next to each other for about half an hour, although it felt like hours to Harry. Time passed so slowly when he was conscious of every minute. Every time Draco moved an inch, he felt inclined to watch, even if it was only out of the corner of his eye. Best to know what the person you can't trust is doing at any point, Harry told himself. He felt Draco's eyes on him too from time to time, although Draco made less effort to hide it. After the half hour passed, Draco got up and walked over to the coffee machine, which was by far the best muggle invention to have made its entrance into the wizarding world. Harry watched as Draco poured himself a cup of coffee and Hannah immediately made her way over to where he was standing. They were talking too quietly for Harry to hear, but he could see that Hannah was amusing Draco. He was laughing at almost everything she said, and not in the way that he laughed at him. Hannah's cheeks grew redder and redder. She had a sheepish smile on her face. Harry could not understand how guys found girls like this attractive, or as they often put it, 'cute'. Sure, Hannah was young and pretty in a way, but Harry found her highly irritating.

When lunchtime rolled around, Harry stood up from his desk as quickly as he could and started to march towards the elevator. A cold hand stopped him, holding his shoulder.

"Harry, wait," said Draco. Harry turned around, letting Draco's hand fall off his shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Draco enquired.

"What does it matter to you where I'm going?"

Hannah popped up besides Draco. "Harry never has lunch with us," she said. Harry could tell she was trying to keep her voice as non-judgmental as possible, but the slightest hint at annoyance didn't go by unnoticed to him. Draco had noticed it too it seemed, because he narrowed her eyes at her before returning his attention back to him.

"Guess I am just looking for any excuse to get out of this hell hole," Draco replied, gesturing to the mess behind him.

"I'm going to see Hermione," Harry said, his voice flat. He laughed when Draco's grin disappeared almost immediately.

"Okay never mind then. I think I prefer hell," he murmured before walking back to the meeting table where the other coworkers had started eating their lunches.

Harry stepped into the elevator and made his way up to the highest floor of the Ministry, where the office of the Minister was located. Harry walked into the office without knocking. Hermione only briefly looked up from her paperwork and acknowledged him with a small smile. Harry sat down opposite of her at her gigantic desk. He gave her a few seconds before he started his monologue.

"Hermione Granger," Harry's voice was low and cold, "Why the hell did you not tell me that Draco Malfoy would be working in my department from today. At the desk right next to mine! Who made the decision to put him there? Was it you? I'm sure you of all people have the authority to change that, and you of all people must know how much I despise him. I cannot work with him so closely to him. I haven't finished any work this morning with him staring me down."

Hermione looked up from her papers with a calm expression on her face. "It was my decision," she said. "Draco was injured in the field and needs to do a desk job while he recovers."

"Okay but why does he have to do that at the desk right next to mine?"

"Harry, I don't have time to explain to you the way decisions are made around here. Let's just go grab some lunch."

"But-" Harry started. He couldn't finish his sentence, as Hermione quite literally shut him up, using a silencing spell. Harry threw up his hands in defence.

"I'll lift the spell if you promise to stop bothering me about this," she said. Harry nodded.

They went to a muggle restaurant for lunch. Hermione had picked it a while ago and they kept going back there for their weekly Friday lunch date because Harry absolutely loved it. The food was good and the staff was very friendly. They had known Hermione's parents well, so they treated Hermione and anyone she brought along like special guests.

Harry had to bite his tongue the entire lunch to not mention Draco. He almost slipped a couple of times. It was just that his face annoyed him so much, and the way he laughed. He could imagine Draco sitting with his coworkers laughing, chatting with them pretending to be best friends, while preparing to stab them in the back.

When Harry got back from lunch, Draco didn't even acknowledge him, and somehow that was even worse than being the subject of his jokes. They worked in silence next to each other for the rest of the afternoon, until everyone else started to leave. Harry wasn't even close to finishing his case and he wanted to get it done before the weekend, so he knew he would have to stay late. Again. He often stayed way past everyone else. Most of his coworkers were middle-aged and had a wife or husband and kids to come home to. It made sense they left at exactly five every day.

After everyone was gone, Draco swirled his chair closer to Harry's, so close that their elbows were almost touching. Harry took in a deep breath.

"What are you working on?" Draco asked.

Harry didn't look up at him but kept his eyes on the papers in front of him, as if he was still reading and the letters hadn't turned into a complete mess. "Just a burglary," he responded, keeping his voice as casual as possible. "I am making sure all the evidence is in the right place and filled correctly for the trial."

"That sounds fascinating," Draco replied, sarcasm heavy in his voice. Draco's head was so close to Harry's. Harry could feel his warm breath on his skin. And then suddenly Draco's hand was brushing his cheek, very slowly and gently. He could feel Draco's magic simmering at the contact.

Draco whispered in his ear: "Now what's a pretty boy like you doing in a dusty place like this?"


	2. Chapter 2

That bastard really thinks he can mess with me huh, Harry thought. Two can play that game.

"You look like you're about to explode. Should I cast a protection charm around myself?"

Harry glared at Hermione. She came out of the kitchen of the apartment they shared and put two plates of food on the table that Harry was seated at, before taking a seat herself.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

Harry simply shoved some food in his mouth as an excuse not to speak.

"Tell me what's wrong, Harry," Hermione pressed on.

"It's just Malfoy, he's getting on my nerves that's all."

"Is he really that bad?"

"Yes!" Harry snapped. "You know what he's like. You hated him back at school."

"Sure, I don't like him and I wouldn't want to hang out with him, but I could tolerate being around him for a day."

When Harry didn't say anything but only glared at her, Hermoine added: "It's been years, Harry."

Harry pushed away his plate and stood up from the table. He went to his room without saying another word. He knew he was being childish and he would apologize to Hermione about it in the morning, but for now he needed his space. Why wouldn't people just leave him alone today?

When Monday came around, Harry was determined to not let Draco get under his skin again. Instead, he would take control into his own hand. He would act overly nice. Maybe that way he could annoy Draco into begging for a transfer to a different department. Harry grinned to himself at the idea.

He arrived at work purposely late, so that everyone was already there by the time he got in, including Draco, who was sitting at his desk completely focused on his work. Harry walked over with firm steps and stopped right next to Draco, almost touching him. He placed a hot coffee cup on his desk.

Draco looked up at him, confused.

"What's this Potter?" he eyed the cup suspiciously. "You trying to poison me now?"

Harry lifted the cup again and took a sip from it himself, making sure to make eye contact with Draco as he did, lingering his lips on the cup for a little longer than necessary before placing it back on Draco's desk.

"Now why would I do that?" he asked before walking the short distance over to his own desk without giving him another glance. He could feel Draco's eyes on him the entire time and he loved that feeling. Messing with Draco was going to be even more fun than he thought it would be.

At lunch time, Harry surprised everyone including himself by sitting down at the lunch table with the rest of his coworkers. He sat right across from Draco, who eyed him curiously. Theodore, a friendly older man, sat down next to Harry. He smiled at Harry.

"It's wonderful to have you join us, Harry," he said.

Harry smiled back at him. "Thank you, Theo," he replied, as if they had been friends for years and Harry hadn't spent the last few years ignoring him. Theodore, a true Hufflepuff, held no grudges and simply smiled back.

Hannah sat next to Draco and had eyes only for him. Next to Hannah was her best friend, Lucy. She looked rather annoyed at how little attention she was getting from her friend, angrily stabbing at her food.

On Draco's other side sat Julius, a clever young man, who was chatting animatedly with Vera, who sat across from him at Harry's side. Vera was one of Harry's favourite co-workers. She knew how to listen. She was a mom of four and could tell the most amazing stories about her children, you could see she really cared. And she treated most of the people in the office as if they were her children too.

"How was your weekend, Harry?" Theodore asked.

"It was good, thank you. I finally got around to reading the new James Taylor novel."

He heard Draco snicker from the other side of the table. "You read that crap, Harry?"

"It's not crap, it's literature," Harry shot back at him. He certainly wouldn't be telling Draco that it was his dream to become a published author. James Taylor was one of his idols. A mystery man, no one knew his real name, but he was widely successful in both the wizarding and muggle community. His work was filled with true emotion, you could almost feel it on the pages.

When Harry looked back at Draco, he could see a small smile forming on his face, right before it snapped back into his usual neutral demeanor. Harry wondered if Draco was even capable of having feelings sometimes.

"How was your weekend, Theo?" Harry asked, turning his face away from Draco and towards the nice man again. As Theo told him all about his grandchildren and how much fun they had together, Harry really did try his best to listen, but found his attention shifting back to Draco every few seconds. He had to fight so hard to not look at him every now and then. Especially when he heard Draco laugh. Harry couldn't resist looking and Draco caught his eye, still smiling. Harry didn't know what to think about that moment, but he knew it was going to be on his mind for the rest of the day.**  
**

"I've been writing a lot this week," Harry told Hermione during their Friday lunch date.

"Oh that's great Harry!" Hermione said.

"Yeah, I've finally been feeling inspired I guess."

"I'm so happy for you! What's the story about?"

"Can't tell you yet."

"But I'm your best friend."

"That's exactly why," Harry said. Luckily Hermione didn't push him about it. He had never let her read any of his writing and he knew she was curious, but she was also patient with him.

Back at work, Harry knew it was going to be another late Friday again. He had loads to finish before he could start his weekend. He was so focused on work he didn't even notice Draco for the rest of the day.

He also didn't notice when everyone left the office for the weekend at five. He didn't look up until he smelled food and a plate was being placed right on top of his paperwork. Harry almost jumped, not having expected Draco to be so close to him all of a sudden.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Dinner," Draco simply said. He pushed away some of Harry's mess to make room for his own plate and then sat down right next to him, so close that their arms were touching.

"You need to eat," Draco said, "It's already seven."

"I'm not hungry," Harry protested.

Draco looked at him skeptically. "You're too skinny. Eat."

"I'm not that skinny."

Draco gave him another look. "I can see your bones through your shirt. It's not a good look."

"You think offending me is the best way to get me to follow your orders?"

"Well then what do you want me to do? Flirt with you? Because I will if it'll get you to eat." 

Harry didn't respond, but simply glared at Draco. What could he say when Draco was being such an idiot? He was stunned out of words.

"Oh Harry, your eyes are so pretty," Draco said in a mocking tone, looking directly into Harry's eyes, a huge smirk on his face.

"Ugh fine, I'll eat if it'll get you to stop doing whatever this is," Harry said, gesturing at Draco's face.

Draco looked triumphant. Harry didn't understand why it seemed to matter so much to him, but he took a bite of the food anyway. He had to admit, it was really good. He normally never ate meals like this. The food was rich in flavour, clearly prepared by a professional chef.

They ate in silence, with the exception of the sounds of enjoyment that Harry made whenever something tasted unexpectedly good, and the soft laugh that that earned him from Draco. He had to admit, Draco could be quite good company. There was a comfortable warmth radiating from his body right where their arms touched. The presence of Draco's magic so close to him made Harry feel safe. He still had his guard up because this was Draco after all, but he felt more relaxed than he had felt in a long time.

"What are you doing tonight, Potter?" Draco asked when they had both finished eating.

"Uh well I need to finish this." Harry gestured to the papers in front of them.

"Do you really? Can it not wait till Monday?"

"Uh I don't know..."

"Your best friend is the Minister of Magic, Harry. I'm sure it'll be fine."

Harry shrugged, still unsure. He looked from Draco to his paperwork and then back at Draco.

"I want to show you something tonight," Draco said. There was a sparkle in his eyes that Harry just couldn't resist.

"Okay," he finally said, almost certain he had just signed his soul to the devil.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry slowly took in his surroundings. He stood in the middle of a cozy looking living room. The walls were lined with bookshelves. There was a fireplace with a chair placed in front of it. Next to the chair stood a table, on which there was a stack of notebooks, a quill and ink.

On the walls, there were photos of Draco with friends, Harry only recognised a few of them. The room had large windows. It was already dark, but Harry could make out a rich garden outside. Flowers everywhere.

Harry turned to Draco, who was already watching him with a familiar grin on his face.

"Not what you expected, Potter?"

"I just didn't know you were capable of owning something so nice," Harry shot back.

Draco laughed. "Look at yourself," he pointed at Harry's outfit. "This is why I took you back here, to get you to wear something more decent."

Sure, his ropes were wrinkled and had holes in a few places, but they weren't that bad, Harry thought to himself. Why would Draco even take him somewhere that required fancy dressing?

Draco motioned for Harry to follow him and Harry did, knowing that protests would be useless when it came to Draco. He let Harry into his bedroom and opened his wardrobe. He pulled out a pair of fancy looking pants, a T-shirt and a very expensive looking sweater and placed the items into Harry's arms.

"These are muggle clothes," Harry observed.

"No shit, Sherlock. Go put them on." Draco shoved Harry into the direction of the bathroom that was attached to the bedroom.

Harry looked back at Draco for a quick second before fully stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door. Had Draco just referenced muggle pop culture? Harry was stunned. Maybe this man had changed after all. Hermione might be right. It had been years since their days at Hogwarts.

Harry slowly got out of his old ropes and into Draco's clothes. They were very comfortable for something so fancy looking. And with a shock, Harry found himself noticing that they smelled of Draco, and then wondering how he even knew what Draco smelled like.

When he stepped out, Draco was sitting on the bed, he had changed into muggle clothing too. He looked right at Harry, his lips curving up into a smirk. His eyes travelled all over Harry's body. He didn't say anything, just stared.

"Did you run out of insults, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"Just surprised that my clothes look good even on you, Potter," Malfoy replied. Then he held out his arm and when Harry took it, they apparated.

They ended up in a tight alley, which was so tight that Harry was close to Malfoy, almost falling into his chest. He quickly steadied himself and put a bit more distance between them by leaning against the wall behind him.

"A dark alley huh?" Harry questioned, "Is this where you murder me?"

"That's such a muggle thing to say," Draco laughed, "If I wanted to murder you, don't you think I wouldn't have already?"

"Now come on," Draco said, gesturing for Harry to follow him out of the alley and into the busy street that lay ahead. They were in central London, Harry realised in an instant, and Malfoy was leading him towards the entrance of a theatre. A muggle one.

"Are you taking me to a musical?" Harry said mockingly.

Draco smiled. "Actually, yes Potter, that is exactly where I'm taking you." Harry couldn't hear any dishonesty in his voice.

They walked into the theatre and stood in line to have their tickets scanned like all the other people there. Why wasn't Draco using any of his privilege, Harry thought. Sure, his name wouldn't mean much here, but he had money. That meant something no matter in what world you found yourself.

Most of the people in line weren't dressed very fancy. This wasn't the opera. Harry felt a bit overdressed. It wasn't like he was wearing a full suit, but the clothing was clearly expensive. Although no one around him seemed to notice.

Harry was getting a bit overwhelmed trying to take in his surroundings. He made sure to memorise where the fire exits were. He looked at the people around them, trying to see if anyone looked suspicious.

Draco put a hand on his back, bringing his attention back to where he was standing. He noticed that their tickets had just been scanned and Draco was ushering him forward towards the main hall. He kept his hand on Harry's back as they walked to their seats, which were located near the front, right in the middle of the hall. They had to manoeuvre past a few people that were already seated. They received many friendly smiles as they did so, and Draco quietly whispered apologies to the people they passed. When they finally sat down, Draco removed his hand from Harry's back, and Harry felt a sudden lack of warmth and comfort. Why did such a small gesture affect him so much? Not to mention coming from Draco.

Harry kept his eyes focused on the stage in front of them, even though there was nothing to see but drawn curtains. He wouldn't know what to do if he were to look at Draco now.

He felt Draco shift a bit next to him, and then felt his breath close to his ear as he whispered: "I know this is not easy to do for The Chosen One, but relax, Potter."

Harry finally turned to face Draco. "I'm not The Chosen One anymore."

"Then what would you like to call me? Golden Boy? The One Who Lived? The High Lord of Paperwork?"

"Call me whatever you want, Malfoy."

The corners of Draco's mouth shot up. He was grinning from ear to ear. "That's an excellent invitation."

Harry shot an annoyed look at him. "Don't make me regret this."

"Of course not, darling."

Luckily for Harry, the curtains opened and the musical started. It was a comedy and Harry found himself enjoying it more than he thought he would. Especially when he heard Draco laugh next to him, a sound so unfamiliar it made his head turn to watch him. His laugh seemed genuine, it reached even his eyes.

Harry laughed more himself than he was used to. He didn't often go out, and when he did he was more focused on how his friends were doing and their safety than on having a good time himself.

Halfway through the show, there was a break. The curtains closed and Harry found himself looking back over at Draco, who was already looking at him with a smile on his face. A real smile, not an evil grin.

And then Draco placed a hand on Harry's knee. "I'm going to get a drink, do you want anything?" he asked.

Harry had a hard time thinking of what he wanted when Draco's hand was right there resting on his knee. It was just a small gesture, but not many people touched him nowadays. Harry didn't let anyone come close enough. Hermione wasn't very touchy anyway. And the same could be said for the rest of Harry's friends.

Harry quickly tried to recover. It means nothing, he told himself. Just a friendly gesture. From his former enemy… But still. It's nothing.

"I'll have whatever you're having," Harry said.

"Excellent," Draco smiled and then he let go of Harry's knee and wrestled himself past people to get to the bar.

He returned moments later with two glasses of red wine. He sat back down next to Harry and handed him one of the glasses.

"Thank you," Harry said, before taking a quick nervous sip. He was grateful for the alcohol. It might help calm his nerves a little.

Draco talked to him about the musical, about how much he had enjoyed it so far and what his favourite moments had been and what he thought of the actors and the singing and the decors. Harry listened, happy to have Draco talk so that he didn't have to think too much. Before he knew it, the lights went out again and the musical started back up. He placed his now empty glass on the small table attached to the seat in front of him like Draco had done and returned his attention back to the stage.

It was harding to focus on what was happening on the stage now though, with the constant memory of the warmth of Draco's hand still fresh in his memory. He felt every movement that Draco made and couldn't help but let his eyes drift back to him every now and then. Apparently something funny happened again, because everyone including Draco started to laugh.

Seeing Draco laugh made Harry miss his touch even more and then he decided to take matters into his own hands again. If Draco could touch him, he could touch Draco. He was a Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake. Wasn't that supposed to mean he had a lot of courage? Surely he had enough courage for this, he told himself.

And so Harry placed his hand on Draco's knee. He kept his eyes focused on the stage so he didn't have to see Draco's response, too afraid to look. He didn't want to see disgust.

But then Harry felt Draco's hand on top of his. Draco's thumb moved slowly along his palm, tracing circles.

Harry turned over his hand and interlaced his fingers with Draco's. Draco squeezed softly and Harry sighed in content.

"Still think I'm going to murder you, Potter?" Draco whispered in his ear.


	4. Chapter 4

The weekend seemed to last forever. Hermione had gone on a trip to Hogwarts for a few days and had left Harry alone in the apartment. When Monday finally rolled around, Harry was almost excited to go to work, to be able to see people again. Sure, he could have seen any of his friends that weekend, but he hadn't felt like leaving the apartment, or inviting anyone over and having to make sure they were having a good time.

When Harry arrived at the office though, the desk next to his was empty. It remained empty the entire day, and the day after that too. Harry tried to throw himself into his work. He ignored the invites he got to have lunch with his co-workers and instead stayed seated at his desk.

On Wednesday, Harry walked into the office with his head low, his feet dragging towards his desk. He sat down without looking up. His head almost hit the desk. He had barely slept, staying up instead to overthink everything. Whenever he did finally fall asleep, he had nightmares.

"Good morning, Potter," a voice said right next to his ear way too loudly. Harry's head snapped up. He quickly turned the relief that was probably visible on his face into annoyance.

"Leave me alone, Malfoy," he shot back.

Draco smirked at him before he sat down at his desk.

"Where have you been?" Harry asked, his voice softer now.

"Did you miss me, darling?" Draco asked, smirking at him again.

Harry glared at him. "Where have you been?" he asked again.

Draco shrugged. "Away," he simply said.

"Why?" Harry pressed on. "Something wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Potter."

"But-" Harry started, before Malfoy cut him off with a sharp 'no'. All the humor had left the conversation. Malfoy's face had gone harsh, no sign of the grin that was there before. This was the end of the conversation, that was clear to Harry.

They didn't speak again for the rest of the day, but Harry slowly felt the anger eb away as time progressed. Towards the end of the afternoon, their coworkers started to leave. Draco usually left at the same time as everyone else, unlike Harry, but now he stayed seated.

Two hours passed like that, in silence, before Harry dared to speak. "Why are you still here?"

Draco shrugged. "Busy," he said without meeting Harry's eye.

Harry put his chair closer to Draco's, close enough to feel his warmth. Then he put a hand on Draco's knee, the same way he had done a few days earlier in the theatre.

Draco finally looked up, a conflicted look on his face.

"Draco," Harry said softly, "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing," Draco said, but his voice was quiet and unconvincing.

Harry slowly moved his fingers over Draco's knee. "Why are you still here then?"

Draco was quiet for a long time. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before opening them again and looking into Harry's eyes.

"I'm," he paused, his voice shaking, "I'm scared."

Before Harry could think of what to reply, Draco put on a brave face again. He was shaking his head, almost seeming angry at himself.

"Go ahead, Potter. Laugh. I know you want to. I know you have always wanted to see me act weak."

"That's not at all what I want!" Harry said firmly. With the hand he had on Draco's knee, he grabbed his wrist tightly.

"You're an idiot," Harry said, "But you're not weak. You've never been and you never will be. You're allowed to be scared."

Draco stood up suddenly, pulling his wrist out of Harry's hold.

"I can't afford to be weak, Harry. You don't understand," he said. And then before Harry could think of something to do or say, Draco left.

Harry went home after that, barely conscious of anything going on around him. Some people greeted him as he walked through the main hall of the Ministry but he barely noticed. There were loads of people on the underground, he didn't see a single face, didn't hear any of their conversations.

At home, he changed into sweatpants and a simple T-shirt and lay down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure what to do or what to think, all he knew was that he was worried. And he hated not being able to help.

At some point, Harry must have dozed off, because he was woken up by a loud knock on the door. When he looked at the time he saw it was two in the morning. He sprang to his feet, his wand somehow already in his hand. He had grabbed it out of instinct. He rushed towards the door and then stopped, hesitating. Who could it even be? Their wards prevented anyone that didn't have permission to get close enough to knock. If an enemy had gotten through the wards, surely they wouldn't be knocking. And Harry would have noticed, he would have felt the wards being torn down. At that realization, he went and opened the door, his wand still raised just in case.

He immediately lowered the wand when he saw who was on the other side of the door.

"Draco," he said, surprised. He had so many questions. Why was Draco here? How had he gotten through the wards? Harry hadn't adjusted them to allow him in. How did Draco even know where he lived? Had he been here before?

But Harry saw the look on Draco's face and decided to not ask any questions right now. Instead he stepped away to allow enough space to let Draco pass, and he said: "Come in."

Draco quietly walked into the living room and stood there awkwardly, facing the ground. Harry walked in after him and eyed him curiously. He had never seen Draco like this, so vulnerable. He looked terrified, as if he had just seen his worst fear come true. Harry wouldn't even know what someone like Draco was afraid of. He had seemed so untouchable before.

"How can I help?" Harry asked.

Draco looked up at him. He looked shocked, as if no one had ever asked him this question before. He seemed to be searching for something in Harry's eyes. And then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath in and out.

"I don't know," he said quietly.

Harry slowly took a step closer to him and put his hand on Draco's shoulder. Draco opened his eyes again, looking at Harry.

"How can I help?" Harry asked again.

"Can I stay here? Just for tonight," Draco asked, his voice shaking slightly.

"Of course," Harry said, "You can have my bed. Hermione isn't here, I'll sleep in her room. She won't mind."

Draco only nodded. He must really be upset, Harry thought, for him to not even argue with him about anything.

"Come on, I'll show you my room," Harry said, and he had Draco follow him through the corridor to the door on the far right.

The room was a bit of a mess. There were clothes and books on random places on the floor. Harry blushed when they walked in, but Draco didn't even seem to notice. Harry would have loved one of his snarky comments right now. The silence was deafening.

Harry looked at Draco again, and saw he was still wearing his robes. "Do you need to borrow something to sleep in? You can borrow a pair of pyjamas."

Draco just nodded. Harry rummaged through his drawers until he found what he was looking for: a set of pyjamas he never wore because they were really nice and he wasn't one to wear nice things.

Draco took them when Harry handed them to him and then he just changed clothes right in front of Harry, not seeming to think or care about it. Harry tried to look away to give him some privacy, but couldn't help but sneak a glance at his bare chest, lean and muscular. He wasn't as scarily skinny as Harry was, there were no bones visible, just muscles. Draco looked good, Harry thought.

Harry pulled his focus back on the present and noticed Draco had sat down on the edge of the bed and his body was shaking. Harry sat down next to him and instinctively wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close.

"It's okay," he whispered softly, "It's okay, Draco. You're safe."

Draco's breathing started to calm down slowly. Harry gently pulled him more onto the bed and into a lying position. He put the covers around him.

"Go sleep," he said softly, brushing Draco's arm. "It's going to be okay."

Harry started to let go, but then Draco spoke for the first time in a while.

"Harry," he said quietly, "Stay. Please."

Harry didn't even have to think about it. He lay down next to Draco and before knowing what he was doing, he wrapped an arm around him, snuggling his chest against Draco's back. Draco sighed and started to slowly drift away into sleep.

The following morning, Harry found the side of the bed that Draco had been on empty. He wondered if it had been a dream. That must have been. There was no way he held Draco in his arms. What had he been thinking?

He slowly sat up and put his glasses on. When he looked around the bedroom, he noticed the clothes that had previously been on the floor were now on a chair, in a neatly folded pile. The books were placed on his nightstand.

Confused as ever, Harry slowly got out of bed and made his way into the kitchen. And there he was. Draco. He was standing with his back to the door, busy flipping an egg. He was wearing the pants and sweater that he had lend Harry when they went to see a musical. They had been on Harry's floor since that night. From the looks of it, Draco had cleaned them.

Draco looked completely different from the night before. He was standing tall, looked to be in full control. He turned around when he heard Harry shuffle in and a grin spread over his face.

"I used to think your hair looked like you'd just gotten out of bed, but now I know it's even worse when you've just woken up," Draco said.

Harry couldn't help but smile. Just for a second. He couldn't let Draco know he was enjoying this teasing. But it surely was a lot better than seeing Draco so broken. Not because he didn't want to see that side of him, he just didn't want Draco to ever have to feel like that.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked.

"Making you breakfast. I'm guessing you never eat breakfast. You're too skinny."

Harry was going to argue, but there was nothing to say, he knew he was too skinny. Hermione told him all the time too. Besides, the food smelled really good.

"Thank you," Harry said.

"You're welcome, Golden Boy," Draco replied with a smile.


	5. Chapter 5

"What's on your mind, Harry?" Neville asked. It was Saturday evening and they were in a bar with Ginny. Usually Hermione joined too when they went out on weekends, but she had wanted to be alone. She usually retreated after her trips to Hogwarts. Harry thought being back at the castle reminded her too much of Ron.

Ginny had her head resting against Neville's shoulder, but she eyed Harry with a worried look.

"Nothing," Harry said, "Just been a busy week at work."

"You know you can tell us anything," Ginny said. Harry had gotten a lot closer with her since school, after they gave up the idea of dating each other and had had some time to readjust. Harry still loved her, but in a way close friends love each other. He had realized that he could never love a woman more than that. That's why he had ended things with her. And she understood, unlike anyone ever had.

Her and Neville got married two years after that and had a little girl. They were so happy together. Even now they couldn't stop touching each other, as if they were still in the honeymoon phase. Neville was softly stroking her hair, smiling at her every now and then. They seemed to speak without words.

"Draco has been bothering me," Harry said.

"Hermione told us he joined your department?"

"Yeah, he's there temporarily recovering from some injury. Had to have the desk next to mine. He drives me crazy."

Ginny looked like she was about to track Draco down and kill him. "That son of a bitch," she muttered under her breath.

Neville looked much calmer and asked: "What did he do?"

"None of it makes sense. One moment he's the cold Malfoy we all know from school and he's making fun of me and looking at me like he wishes I'd cease to exist, and the next he's touching me and taking me on what sure seemed to be a date and he has me wear his clothes and he's making me breakfast - oh fuck, that sounds wrong out of context. Forget that last part."

Harry was blushing furiously and Ginny couldn't help but giggle a bit. She also looked very shocked though.

"You slept with him?"

"NO!" Harry exclaimed, "No, nothing like that. Nothing happened. He just - stayed over. He just needed a friend."

"You're friends now? Doesn't he have other friends to go to?"

"No, there's no way we are friends. I suppose. I don't know. I don't know anything about him."

Neville still had that soft, calm look on his face. "Harry," he started, "How do you really feel about him?"

"He annoys me so much. It's like he does it on purpose. After he stayed over, the days after at work he acted like nothing happened."

"You just told us nothing happened," Ginny said, a small grin on her face.

Harry blushed again. He sighed, feeling so frustrated. "It's just - ugh I don't know." He threw up his hands.

"Do you want him to take you out on dates?" Ginny asked.

Harry tried to think, but all he could do was to picture the way he had sat next to Draco at the theatre, their hands intertwined. The soft squeeze of Draco's hand.

"No," Harry said quietly, but it was clearly a lie. He knew Ginny and Neville would be able to tell right away. They always knew when he was telling the truth or not. Harry was a terrible liar.

"I don't trust him," Harry added.

"You have every right not to trust him, after what happened at school," Neville said. He knew Neville meant 'after what happened with Voldemort and the Malfoy family' but didn't want to bring up those memories so explicitly.

"It's not about that," Harry said.

"Oh," Neville replied, "Why don't you trust him then?"

Harry didn't know how to reply to that. Deep down he knew the answer, but he wasn't ready to put it out there yet. He knew Neville and Ginny would understand, but he just couldn't say the words. _I'm afraid he is going to break my heart._

"I don't know," Harry said. Neville saw Harry's wish to not share anything more than that and he changed the subject. Harry was very grateful for that.

The rest of the evening they mostly talked about their daughter, Belle. When they were getting ready to leave, Ginny pulled Harry in for a hug and whispered in his ear: "If Malfoy hurts you, let me know and I'll kick his ass."

When Harry got home, Hermione was in her room, the door closed. Harry knew better than to disturb her. She needed her time alone sometimes. But whereas Hermione tended to withdraw and throw herself into reading whenever she had a lot on her mind, Harry needed the opposite. His mind was whirling and what he needed most now was the presence of another human.

Harry didn't really have anyone to go to now. He had already spent the entire night with Ginny and Neville and didn't want to bother them more. He couldn't bother Hermione with his silly problems now. He had other friends, like Luna and Dean and Seamus even, but he wasn't close to them and he also didn't want to bother them on a weekend. It was already late as well.

That only left one person, really. And because Harry supposed this person owed him at least this, he apparated and found himself standing in front of Draco's door a moment later. He knocked before he could change his mind.

It took awhile for Draco to open the door. When he did, he was rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His hair was ruffled and he was clad in pyjamas.

His eyes narrowed when he saw Harry. "Potter," he said coldly, "What are you doing here?"

Harry immediately regretting coming there. What had he been thinking? Oh that's right, nothing. He hadn't been thinking at all. Acting on impulses always got him in messy situations like this.

"I uh-," he stammered, "I can go." He was in the process of turning away from Draco, but Draco grabbed hold of his arm and held him in place. His grip on his arm was so tight it almost hurt.

"Don't tell me you woke me up for no reason," Draco snarled, "Come in." He released his hold on Harry's arm, but then he took Harry's hand in his and urged him into the house.

Harry was more confused than ever. Draco was sending him so many mixed signals. His hand felt so soft in his, so warm and comforting. His thumb even moved softly on the inside of Harry's palm. But the look in his eyes was still distant and cold.

They stood in Draco's living room, facing each other. Draco had released Harry's hand. The room looked just like how Harry had last seen it. It felt familiar, almost like home. Harry couldn't believe he felt that way. But he did.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or are you just going to stand there?"

Harry met Draco's eyes. He still looked pissed.

"There is just so much on my mind," Harry said. It was the safest way to say what was going on. It was true, but vague enough to not form a weapon that Draco could use against him.

Draco nodded and stayed silent, waiting for Harry to continue.

"You seem angry," Harry said instead.

"I am angry," Draco said, "But not at you. At whoever made you feel like this."

Harry's eyes widened. He had not been expecting an answer like that, so truthful and forward.

Harry decided to be a little more honest himself. "I made myself feel like this," he admitted.

A small smile appeared on Draco's face. "Then I guess I am angry at you."

Harry snorted a laugh and then Draco's smile got bigger until he was laughing fully. Harry laughed with him.

And then Draco suddenly stepped closer and drew him in for a hug. It took Harry a while to respond, he hadn't been expecting this. But then he wrapped his arms around Draco too, and as he did, Draco tightened his hold of Harry.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Draco asked, his voice a soft whisper in Harry's ear now.

"No," Harry said. He didn't even know how to put it into the words himself, the way he felt. He couldn't.

Harry losened the embrace. "I'll go," he said.

Draco held him firmly in place. "Stay," he pleaded.

After Harry had agreed, Draco showed him to his bedroom and gave him a set of his pyjamas to wear. It was a strangely familiar ritual by now, so similar to when Draco had stayed over at Harry's. Harry changed his clothes in front of him, but whereas Harry had pretended not to look when Draco had changed at his, Draco was fully eyeing him, unashamed. Harry felt a blush creep up on his face, but tried to act like he was unbothered.

Harry got onto the bed and laid down under the covers. Draco was still staring at him as he walked over. "You're on my side," Draco said.

He got in on the same side and simply shoved Harry over to the other side. Then he put his arm around Harry's chest and snuggled him close.

"Technically I'm still on your side now," Harry commented.

Draco softly hit his arm. "Shut up, Potter."

Harry softly laughed. He felt more relaxed than ever. Safe in the arms of Draco. He almost immediately started to drift away. The last thing he heard before he fully sank into sleep was Draco saying: "You should laugh more often."


End file.
